"cruising" with warriors of radness

In their new short film "Cruising", Warriors of Radness set out to capture the grittier side of California beach culture. Inspired by 1970s boardwalk trysts, voyeuristic sexuality, and hustler culture, the film explores some nostalgic ideas and showcases the brands signature beach-bound looks. Watch the film above and shop all Warriors of Radness.

internet friends (special edition) : ask slutever for IDLM

Have you been craving a new edition of Slutever for IDLM? Karley talks drug usage, manual issues, and kissing cousins. Email her at karleyslutever@gmail.com to ask your own questions. Be sure to check out out all the new developments on Slutever, including her hilarious and informative new show on Vice! 


Dear Slutever,

I’m a fairly heavy heroin user. I’ve been doing it off and on since I was twenty-one (I'm turning thirty in a few months), and have been seriously addicted for the last five years. I do not use needles (I snort it), but my use is a good deal heavier than most junkies I've known. When I have the money I can use up to twenty bags a day, whereas most users hover somewhere in the three to four range. Most of my sexual life has been spent in relationships. From my high school sweetheart on I found myself losing my libido as the relationship progressed, to the point where I would not want sex even though I still found the person in question very sexy, and would even at times masturbate to the thought of a girlfriend perfectly willing to have sex with me.

My last girlfriend did not know I was using drugs and a huge part of our breakup revolved around my refusal to fuck her, even not being able to get it up sometimes. I found her very sexy and wanted to be with her but my libido just dropped off a cliff after the sixth month. I now have gotten down to masturbating about once a week just to release fluids and neither my mind nor body crave sex in the least. I enjoy sex and miss it and wonder if there is any problem with me other than the drug use, and if there is a possibility that I might be able to raise my libido without quitting my vice. 

Alexander 

Dear Alexander,

Well, heroin use is widely known to decrease libido, specifically in men. I know you are asking me for a way to solve your problem without quitting your vice, but it’s sort of a difficult question considering your vice is the problem. I dated a guy on heroin for a while a few years ago, and his problem was that he could never cum. He wanted to have sex, but then he would go on for ages with no orgasm. And you’d think a guy that could last a long time would be a good thing, but I could tell he wasn’t even enjoying the most of the time--he was mainly just was continuing on out of frustration. Our sex would normally end with me having a neck ache and a dried up, swolen vagina, and him being angry. It was really awful and I don’t know why I did it for as long as I did. The fact is, even if you’re a functioning user and can hide it from girlfriends, you’re going to be a sexual disappointment to the girls you date. Girlfriends like sex (duh) so if you’re choosing heroin over sex, then I can see why girls would dump you. So I guess you have to choose.

My advice would be to quit heroin because heroin sucks. I could go into why, however I feel that is unnecessary given the near infinite information available on the subject. And that guy I was talking about before: he’s in jail now and the last time I saw him he has a bunch of red sores all over his face. No one wants to fuck a prisoner covered in sores. Fact.  


Dear Slutever, 

I'm 17 and have my first boyfriend (I realize I'm sad, don't worry). We haven't had sex yet which is fine, but the issue is that I can't get him to cum. Like seriously, how hard can it be?! In a panic I tragically had to Google how to give head but I was already doing what the websites told me to, but it just doesn't work on him. Could you give me some tips or even a breakdown of what I should be doing. Maybe hand tips too, seeing as I need mouth breaks from his impossible-to-please dick.   

Kelly 

Dear Kelly,

Communication is totally key in this sort of situation! It’s not weird to ask someone what they want in bed. It would be weird if you were like, “OMG what is wrong with your dick!” but it’s not weird to say, “Tell me what you want me to do... I’ll do whatever you want.” Actually, just saying that will probably turn him on. (Disclaimer: you don’t actually have to do whatever he wants if you don’t want to, but you can say it anyway.) Good communication really does make sex better, I promise, so we should all start talking about sex and what we turns us on and what we love and don’t love with our lovers right now.

In terms of BJ/HJ advice, guys are more visual than girls, so maybe give him some sexy visuals to turn him on, like take your shirt and bra off really slowly or whatever. Also, a good BJ tip (if the guy is lying down on his back) is to get on your hands and knees and place your body perpendicular to his, this way he can look at your entire body while you suck his dick, which is hot. Also if you’re giving a BJ and/or HJ and you want the to finish, it’s important to get into a rhythm with your mouth/hand and not to break from it. So basically at the beginning you can do lots of sexy licking and add in frills or whatever, but at the end just do the same thing over and over. Also, if you’re going through all this trouble for him then he should also be working hard to make you cum too. Just sayin’. Also, just a thought... maybe your bf is gay?

Dear Slutever, 

Last night my family threw a block party. My (female) cousin was in town partying too. I'm 23, she's 17 and insanely hot. Shit got boring because alcohol was in short supply, so the two of us went to my room and play Xbox. I kept killing her and taunting her, and she got (mock) angry and started talking shit back to me. Eventually we settled on a bet: whoever dies next has to masturbate in front of the other person. Then she died. I was super nervous at this point, so I tried to play it off as if we were never serious about it, but she (also really nervous) said a “promise is a promise”. This was fucking awesome for me, because I've been fantasizing about this girl for years. So she was doing it (pants down, but underwear on) and I had the biggest boner I've ever had. I finally worked up the courage to sit closer to her, she kept going, and I leant over and kissed her. And she kissed me back! I felt her boob, she stopped masturbating and started rubbing my cock. Long story short she gave me a blow-job and then we went to our separate rooms. Fucking A. But now she's really upset. She hasn't told anyone what happened, but she's been crying, and asking me why I raped her! WTF! She's saying it's statutory rape even if she did say it was okay, and I'm worried I'm going to be completely fucked (figuratively and literally, once I'm in prison for underage incest sex!). What should I do?

John, NM  

Dear John,

Jeez Louise, you really got yourself into a pickle. Have you seen that movie The Dreamers? Total incest vibes, and there’s a scene in it similar to what you just described, except they never make it to the blow job. You should watch it though, I think you’d be into it. Anyway, I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with hooking up with your cousin. And I can imagine the “wrongness” aspect of it would make the situation hotter. (And it’s not like it’s your sibling or your mom or something, which even I have to admit is kind of weird.) So, if things went down as you said they did then you are not a rapist. However the problem with fucking 16/17 years olds is that they can always pull the statutory rape card. Selfish little cunts! This is why it’s probably better to not take the risk on the underagers, even though I believe most 17 year olds are completely mentally and physically capable of deciding who they want to fuck with and when. (Why the age of consent in America is 18, I have no clue...) But anyway, my advice is to sit down with your cousin and talk rationally about what happened. Explain that you never meant to hurt her, and that what happened was a result of decisions made by both of you. Talk about how if she started telling people you raped her that you could go to jail for a very long time. Hopefully she’s just a bit overwhelmed right now and will calm down soon. Yikes... :/

INTERNET FRIENDS (SPECIAL EDITION): ASK SLUTEVER for IDLM

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INTERNET FRIENDS (SPECIAL EDITION): ASK SLUTEVER for IDLM PART #4

If you're not all hot and bothered from her new film for Purple Television, then take some time to get emotional with Slutever during our ASK SLUTEVER for IDLM series. Send us the most personal of questions and receive guidance. Email her at Karleyslutever@gmail.com. Today Karley addresses betrayal, mom's fudge, and what it REALLY takes to be good in bed.

Dear Slutever,
I'm horribly depressed. I recently found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, the shock still hasn't worn off and I’ve yet to confront him. You're probably reading this thinking I'm a sooky idiot female, which I guess I am, to be honest. We have amazing sex--sex that sends me absolutely insane. I'm beginning to wonder whether I haven't confronted him because I don't want to give up the sex. His mum also makes an insane chocolate fudge cake, so that could also be another reason. Do I confront him, ignore it, let it spill out in a drunken psycho yelling fit, or simply break it off?
Depressed in Australia

Slutever Says:
First of all, you’re not an idiot. Most people in this world have either been cheated on or been the cheater, and that will probably never change because the human race is inherently slutty. Because most of us have the ability to separate sex and love, it means that even if you truly love someone it’s not out of the question that you will make the conscious decision to fuck someone else behind their back at one point or another. That doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, it just makes you human (i.e. epically flawed).


The thing is, your boyfriend obviously hurt you, which is a problem. If you never agreed to be in an open relationship then sleeping with someone else is grounds for a break up. There are things to think about: did he sleep with someone just one time? Has he slept with lots of other people? Has he been sleeping with a specific person repeatedly? Option three is probably the most serious, because that’s when you enter “emotional cheating” territory, which is the worst kind.What’s important to remember is that monogamy is hard. If two people have a great relationship then I don’t think it should be a deal breaker if someone gets drunk and fucks somebody one night. If your boyfriend needed to fuck another girl it probably has way more to do with his own ego or his sex-crazed man brain than it does with how he feels about you.


The right thing to do is just to talk to him about it. But don’t go in screaming and don’t be drunk when you do it. You have every right to be mad, but screaming won’t solve anything and you need to have a rational conversation. This is probably not the most responsible thing to tell you, but for the sake of honesty I’ll share. A few years ago I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me. I wanted to kill him, but instead I just went out and fucked another guy. Knowing I had fooled around too gave me a sense of mental power, and I felt more confident and less manic when I finally confronted him and recited the pre-planned line "I know you fucked that anorexic skank from LA you illiterate prick." So uh... yeah, I’m not suggesting you should follow my lead on that one. But the point (I think) I’m trying to make is: don’t play the victim. Do what you want, because there are no rules. If you want to forgive him, then forgive him. It’s not embarrassing. If you want to get threesomed by two farmers to get back at him, then I think that’s fair enough. However if you can’t get over his infidelity and you think it will haunt your relationship forever, then you should break it off. There are lots of guys out there who are good in bed who will send you “absolutely insane” with their boners. It’s a mathematical certainty.

Dear Slutever,
I’m 24 and the longest relationship of my life was seven months. I’ve had sex but I don't have much experience with girls and I feel like I’m missing the good techniques it takes to be good in bed! Is sex that difficult? Do I have to do acrobatics in order to be good at sex or do I just have low self-confidence?
Nick, Athens

Slutever Says:
Please, for the love of god, no acrobatics. I’ll make it simple: as a hetero guy, if you want to be good in bed you have to be attentive to the girl and receptive to what turns her on. You know all the screaming orgasms girls have in porn? Yeah, those are fake. Pounding us repeatedly from behind for ten minutes isn’t going to make us cum. Also, we don’t like it when you try to shove it in while we’re still dry. Foreplay is important to us because it takes longer for girls to cum than is does for boys, so you have to rub our boobs and kiss our necks and spank us (maybe?) to allow us time to “get going” or whatever. Some girls can have G-spot orgasms (I hate you), but most of us need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. Well, it’s not rocket science but giving a girl head is normally the most efficient way to turn her on, because you can rub your tongue directly onto the part that feels good. Also, please lick lightly. Jeez, it’s not a stamp.


Also, don’t be afraid to ask a girl what she likes. It shows us that you care and it also means we get to tell you exactly what to do without sounding all demanding. And also, “Tell me what feels good” is just a hot sentence, ya know? Sex is hard to fuck up, so don’t over-think it. Like I’ve said before, sex is meant to be clumsy and awkward. Embrace it.


Above images by Ilze Vanaga via GirlCorMagazine

INTERNET FRIENDS (SPECIAL EDITION): ASK SLUTEVER for IDLM PART 3

The sexual shaman of those lost and alone, Karley Sciortino aka Slutever, serves up the third round of ASK SLUTEVER for IDLM. Today's discussions cover the power of sexuality, overcoming shyness, and when to finally say yes.

Are you dying for answers of your own? Email her at karleyslutever@gmail.com for next time.


Dear Slutever,
I live in little ol’ New Zealand and go to an all girls Catholic school. I'm 16, half English/half Caribbean, and what some people call 'exotic'. Basically it means I don't look like anyone else around here. It makes me cringe writing it, but a lot of older men seem to be drawn to me. I don't mean gorgeous, 20-something tourists, I mean more like 50-90 year old men. It's gross! Like the first dick I ever saw was a homeless man wanking intensely while staring at me. So what I want to know is, how do you ward off creepy guys without looking like a complete troll?
-Anastasia, NZ

Dear Anastasia,
So wait, the problem is that lots of guys want to fuck you? Bitch, that’s not a problem! One day you will be old with sagging skin and no homeless people will be jerking off to you, and you will resent having been so unappreciative of these generous sexual offerings. Also, I’m just going to put this out there: older guys are better in bed. As someone who has slept with a wide variety of boys/men between the ages of 14 and 53, I can say that with confidence. (The 14 year old was when I was 16, chill.) Boys, as well as girls, get better at sex with age. Boys especially, since for some reason young guys think it’s OK not to give girls head in return for the endless BJs we give them, which it is not!! But thankfully, as men age, they begin to understand that it takes more than just ramming the P in the V repeatedly for four minutes to make a girl cum. Seriously, fuck someone with a child and/or a mortgage and you’ll see what I mean.

And before I shut up I’m going to give you one more (very important) piece of advice: SEX IS POWER. The faster and better you understand this, the most successful you will be in all aspects of your life. I just read a good interview on slate.com with a woman named Catherine Hakim, author of Erotic Capital: The Power of Attraction in the Boardroom and the Bedroom. HERE she talks about how being a babe is just as valuable a form of capital as anything else, and that those who subscribe to the dated feminist idea that women shouldn’t try to be “hot”, and that beauty is superficial and has no value, are actually just fucking themselves over. Basically, use what you’ve got.

Dear Slutever,
Despite general society seemingly to have developed an attraction for nerdy, socially awkward, and somewhat unattractive guys now, I find being a nerdy, socially awkward, and somewhat unattractive guy to be quite distressing. For one, I have no friends, and thus no social life, and walking around by myself at lunch really sucks. All because I'm shy as fuck! Also I feel really self-conscious around girls. How can I get a life and not be quite so nerdy, socially awkward and somewhat unattractive?
Scott, CT

Dear Scott,
This depends on what type of nerd you are. Are you a smart, science nerd? If so, you can be as socially awkward as you want, because that goes with the overall aesthetic. My advice to you is to suck it up, study hard, and I promise that after high school, AKA when the real world begins and people start valuing intelligence over how far you can kick a ball or whatever, you will have more friends and girls wanting to sleep with you than you could ever imagine. However if this is not the case and you are in fact the bad kind of nerd, i.e. just socially awkward with no redeeming qualities to tip the scale, then for Christ’s sake, get good at something! People want to fuck people who are good at stuff: fact. The people in this world with sexual power rarely have it solely because of their looks; it’s because they are exceptional. Defs no one would want to sleep with Wes Anderson or Seth Rogen if their only contributions to the world were working at Starbucks. Joey Ramone and Janis Joplin were legit monsters, but they were geniuses and therefore could fuck and/or friend whoever they wanted. Now go, carpe the diem!


Dear Slutever,
I recently turned eighteen and I'm increasingly wondering whether I should cure myself of a
quite serious case of virginity. I've been offered sex in the past but I've always said no. My question is, should I wait until I'm going out with a girl who I really like before engaging in coit, or just leap on the next girl who can stand to have sex with me? Thanks!
Sparrow

Dear Sparrow,
This seems to be an issue for a lot of people. My answer to this is simple: THERE ARE NO RULES. People put too much emphasis on what should and should not be done regarding sex, when really the only answer is to just do what feels right. Do you want to have sex with a random girl? If so, then you should. Would you prefer to wait and sleep with someone you love, but feel pressured by social norms to lose your virginity before going to college? If that’s the case, go with your gut and wait. I understand that this answer is neither funny nor witty, but sometimes we need to remind ourselves that most seemingly difficult questions have the simplest of answers.


above images via Lasse Dearman

INFLUENCE: ANJELICA HUSTON for VOGUE ITALIA 1972

Anjelica Huston shot by Bob Richardson
Italian Vogue 1972

ASK SLUTEVER for IDLM: ROUND DEUX

Our orgasmic tutor, blogger Karley Sciortino aka Slutever, is back for round two of ASK SLUTEVER  for IDLM. Today we are serving some sexual ambiguity and lessons in self control. Want to get in on it next time? Email her at karleyslutever@gmail.com and spill!

Q1: I'm into trying new things, especially regarding sex. So far I've only sexed men, but I’m interested in trying out lady sex and threesomes, however I’m not sure how to go about it. Like how do I know if a girl is into other girls? How do other girls know that I’m bi? But then again, I don’t even know if I’m bisexual yet. What if I try it and it's not my thing? I guess I've been waiting for it to "just happen", but it hasn't yet and I feel weird about perving on every girl I'm attracted to. How do I go about touching a boob that isn’t mine?
Veronica, SC

SLUTEVER SAYS: All girls are into girls (well, like 99%). That’s what’s so cool about us females: we are extremely open-minded and sexually free and we love each other and each other’s bodies like they were our own. Girls as a whole are far more sexually fluid and emotionally advanced than men, who tend to choose either gay or straight and stick with it. Poor boys and their simple brains!

So, you want to know how to tell if a girl is into you? Well, it’s the same way that you tell if a guy is, duh! It’s all about eye contact, smiling, light touching—the way boys and girls flirt and express desire is basically the same. If you think a girl is hot, tell her! If she gets flirty back, she probably wants your private parts in her mouth. If she doesn’t, you can play it off like you were just being casually complimentary, like a “Hey gurl, I like your shoes” kind of thing. #NBD

Now about group sex: you are single, which means you’re in a very good position right now. I know way more couples looking for girls to join them in bed than I do single girls looking for threesomes. You’re a rarity! Also, having a threesome with a couple is SO hot because you are new and exciting to them which means you get most of the attention. I have been both the girlfriend and the “other girl” in a threesome situation, and although both are great it’s sort of more fun to get the special treatment. The most extreme case of that for me was a few years ago in Athens. I was in a club and this random Greek woman started dancing with me and getting all touchy feely. Eventually she dragged me to the bathroom and started going down on me, and then she brought me to a weird back room of the bar that was empty—I think maybe she worked there--and brought her boyfriend too, and they both took off my clothes and started fingering me and groping me and spanking me and like shoving their fingers in my mouth and stuff. All while screaming at me in Greek. Then she forced me to suck her bf’s dick for a while, and she kept slapping my vagina for some reason. It was weird but also hot, even though they were both in their late 30s and not very attractive. Weirdly that kind of made it hotter because it felt like these gross weirdoes were just using me and there was nothing I could do about it. It was their toy, ya know? But like they spoke NO English which made the situation so strange because they were constantly talking and I was just like, uh... what? Like to give you an idea of how much communication there was, the woman was originally from Cuba and we eventually realized that I spoke better Spanish than she did English, so from then on we only communicated in Spanish. And like, I don’t speak Spanish. (P.S. I never blogged about that because I had a boyfriend at the time—woops.)

But back to you. So, if none of that other stuff works, I have a no fail plan. Find a girlfriend of yours who wants to have a threesome too, and go out with her to a bar/party/wherever, and hit on guys together. Remember to say things in unison--stuff like “we think you’re really hot,” and “do you want to make out with us?” The guy will literally die.

Q2: There is this bartender at my favorite club who is amazingly beautiful and beyond cool. He always says I'm pretty and he asked for my number once, BUT THEN HE NEVER TEXTS ME! He is so elusive and there is never a right moment to make a move, and I don't know how to pursue him without looking like a psycho/whore. He does things like kiss me on the face, and he gives me free drinks, but he hardly ever replies to my drunk texts--texts that are funny and intelligent! I want him so badly and I've already done the whole being straightforward thing. He never says no, but nothing ever happens.
What do I do?
Caroline, Washington DC

SLUTEVER SAYS: OK, first of all, drunk texts are not hot. We are all guilty of sending the odd drunken sext but we all need to stop this RIGHT NOW! Do you like getting creepy, overly horny texts from dudes at 3am? No, so don’t be that person. It makes you seem desperate. If you want to ask a guy out, the way to do it is to send a controlled, to-the-point daytime text. Saying something like “Would you like to hang out with me on Friday night?” at 4pm on a Wednesday makes you seem super cool and confident, like you just casually thought of him while food shopping and decided to send him that text without even really thinking about it. If he doesn’t respond, it doesn’t even matter because you were busy doing important daytime things and probably forgot anyway.

Also, there’s always the possibility that he’s gay. I mean, kisses on the face?? That sounds gay to me. Whenever I get rejected by a guy I always automatically assume he’s gay. That might be narcissistic of me but it has saved me from a large amount of sadness and shame, so I think I’ll stick with it.

ASK SLUTEVER x IDLM

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