INTERNET FRIENDS (SPECIAL EDITION): ASK SLUTEVER for IDLM

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ASK SLUTEVER for IDLM: 5th Edition

It might be the smart thing to take her advice though...What follows is another edition of Ask Slutever for IDLM, Karley talks unwanted hairs and coveted body parts. Have you been secretly hoarding questions but too shy to ask? Seize the day! Email her at karleyslutever@gmail.com. Be sure to visit Slutever for daily doses of stylish bodacious-ness!

Dear Slutever,
I’m 15 and a virgin. I’ve hooked up with a few guys, and I want to go further, but there are some things I’m nervous about. Firstly, I have quite hairy boobs and I’m scared this it’s fucking weird and freaky and that guys will be grossed out! What do I do about them? Also, I’ve masturbated a bit before but never reached orgasm--is that normal?
Nervous Down Under

Slutever Says,
Lots of girls have hair on their boobs--that’s normal. Invest in some tweezers and pluck it out girl! Not an issue.

About jerking off: lots of girls have to practice masturbating, and sometimes it takes a while to learn how to make yourself cum. What happens when you masturbate now? Do you get bored and give up before you orgasm? Sometimes the process just takes a while--like twenty minutes or so--so you have to give yourself time. It sounds obvious, but the more turned on your are, the easier it is to cum. Try looking at something stimulating--porn, a photo you find sexy, etc. Personally, when I’m having a hard time cumming, something that helps is holding my breath. Decreasing the amount of oxygen to your brain makes you feel all giddy and lightheaded, and heightens your sensory pleasures. That’s why erotic aspyxiation is such a big thing--if it didn’t work, there wouldn’t be so many people killing themselves doing it, right? I’m not saying you need to tie a belt around your neck, but next time you’re rubbing your clit, try taking a deep breath and holding it for as long as you can, and see what happens. Also, some girls find it hard to cum using just their hands, so maybe you need some assistance. Make the shower head your best friend. If your shower head isn’t detachable and can’t reach your vagina, another great method is lying down in the bathtub and positioning yourself so that your clit is directly underneath the stream of water coming out of the faucet. The water falling on you feels, like, sooo good. You have to make sure to get the temperature and pressure exactly right though. After all, these are delicate matters.

Dear Slutever,
So I have been seeing this lovely boy for two months now, and he recently confessed that he has always wanted to get fucked with a strap-on. I’ve used toys with guys before, but have never done this. I’m thinking of buying him a strap-on as a surprise. But like, is it insulting to buy a small one? I feel like a big one will hurt. How do I make this the most pleasant experience possible? Is there a right way to go about all this?
Lynn, OR

Slutever Says,
To be honest, I don’t have that much experience with this, but I have had some first hand strap-on lessons from a very skilled Dominatrix, so I will share what I know with you.

So... have you guys tried any anal play before? If you haven't done any basic training then even a small dildo might hurt him. I would suggest buying a dildo that’s very soft, thin (smallest girth possible), and long, so you can adjust the length by putting your hand around the base. You don’t need to give him the whole length, but if you buy a "beginners" type dildo, which is soft, thin and short, it may slip out very easily, making the experience more annoying than fun. Also, make sure you buy a harness that’s adjustable around the waist and legs, this way it will fit you properly, and you will be both comfortable and in control.

Get him ready with your fingers and some lube first. Wear plastic gloves if you want. That may sound surgical and weird, but it also might add to the element of roll play. As for position, doggie style is good for controlling penetration, and it’s also easier for him to lean forward if it starts to hurt. Other than that, the only advice I really have is to take it easy. Since us girls don’t normally hump stuff, our bodies aren’t used to all that aggressive thrusting. The first time I fucked someone with a strap-on was in college. I fucked some drunk girl who kept screaming, “Fuck me with your huge cock!” even though the dildo was really tiny (and hot pink). I threw my back out doing it and could barely walk for four days. Embarrassing?

And one more thing. On the subject of strap-ons, my scary lesbian Dominatrix friend once told me this: “Always remember, ouch is not a safeword and lube is over-rated.” Do with that what you will.

Above images via Happy 2 b Sad

INTERNET FRIENDS (SPECIAL EDITION): ASK SLUTEVER for IDLM PART 3

The sexual shaman of those lost and alone, Karley Sciortino aka Slutever, serves up the third round of ASK SLUTEVER for IDLM. Today's discussions cover the power of sexuality, overcoming shyness, and when to finally say yes.

Are you dying for answers of your own? Email her at karleyslutever@gmail.com for next time.


Dear Slutever,
I live in little ol’ New Zealand and go to an all girls Catholic school. I'm 16, half English/half Caribbean, and what some people call 'exotic'. Basically it means I don't look like anyone else around here. It makes me cringe writing it, but a lot of older men seem to be drawn to me. I don't mean gorgeous, 20-something tourists, I mean more like 50-90 year old men. It's gross! Like the first dick I ever saw was a homeless man wanking intensely while staring at me. So what I want to know is, how do you ward off creepy guys without looking like a complete troll?
-Anastasia, NZ

Dear Anastasia,
So wait, the problem is that lots of guys want to fuck you? Bitch, that’s not a problem! One day you will be old with sagging skin and no homeless people will be jerking off to you, and you will resent having been so unappreciative of these generous sexual offerings. Also, I’m just going to put this out there: older guys are better in bed. As someone who has slept with a wide variety of boys/men between the ages of 14 and 53, I can say that with confidence. (The 14 year old was when I was 16, chill.) Boys, as well as girls, get better at sex with age. Boys especially, since for some reason young guys think it’s OK not to give girls head in return for the endless BJs we give them, which it is not!! But thankfully, as men age, they begin to understand that it takes more than just ramming the P in the V repeatedly for four minutes to make a girl cum. Seriously, fuck someone with a child and/or a mortgage and you’ll see what I mean.

And before I shut up I’m going to give you one more (very important) piece of advice: SEX IS POWER. The faster and better you understand this, the most successful you will be in all aspects of your life. I just read a good interview on slate.com with a woman named Catherine Hakim, author of Erotic Capital: The Power of Attraction in the Boardroom and the Bedroom. HERE she talks about how being a babe is just as valuable a form of capital as anything else, and that those who subscribe to the dated feminist idea that women shouldn’t try to be “hot”, and that beauty is superficial and has no value, are actually just fucking themselves over. Basically, use what you’ve got.

Dear Slutever,
Despite general society seemingly to have developed an attraction for nerdy, socially awkward, and somewhat unattractive guys now, I find being a nerdy, socially awkward, and somewhat unattractive guy to be quite distressing. For one, I have no friends, and thus no social life, and walking around by myself at lunch really sucks. All because I'm shy as fuck! Also I feel really self-conscious around girls. How can I get a life and not be quite so nerdy, socially awkward and somewhat unattractive?
Scott, CT

Dear Scott,
This depends on what type of nerd you are. Are you a smart, science nerd? If so, you can be as socially awkward as you want, because that goes with the overall aesthetic. My advice to you is to suck it up, study hard, and I promise that after high school, AKA when the real world begins and people start valuing intelligence over how far you can kick a ball or whatever, you will have more friends and girls wanting to sleep with you than you could ever imagine. However if this is not the case and you are in fact the bad kind of nerd, i.e. just socially awkward with no redeeming qualities to tip the scale, then for Christ’s sake, get good at something! People want to fuck people who are good at stuff: fact. The people in this world with sexual power rarely have it solely because of their looks; it’s because they are exceptional. Defs no one would want to sleep with Wes Anderson or Seth Rogen if their only contributions to the world were working at Starbucks. Joey Ramone and Janis Joplin were legit monsters, but they were geniuses and therefore could fuck and/or friend whoever they wanted. Now go, carpe the diem!


Dear Slutever,
I recently turned eighteen and I'm increasingly wondering whether I should cure myself of a
quite serious case of virginity. I've been offered sex in the past but I've always said no. My question is, should I wait until I'm going out with a girl who I really like before engaging in coit, or just leap on the next girl who can stand to have sex with me? Thanks!
Sparrow

Dear Sparrow,
This seems to be an issue for a lot of people. My answer to this is simple: THERE ARE NO RULES. People put too much emphasis on what should and should not be done regarding sex, when really the only answer is to just do what feels right. Do you want to have sex with a random girl? If so, then you should. Would you prefer to wait and sleep with someone you love, but feel pressured by social norms to lose your virginity before going to college? If that’s the case, go with your gut and wait. I understand that this answer is neither funny nor witty, but sometimes we need to remind ourselves that most seemingly difficult questions have the simplest of answers.


above images via Lasse Dearman

ASK SLUTEVER x IDLM

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INTERNET FRIENDS (SPECIAL EDITION): ASK SLUTEVER for IDLM

*SOMETIMES WHAT YOU NEED IS THE ADVICE OF A PROFESSIONAL

Sexpert blogger Karley Sciortino aka Slutever knows the answers to your most private and confounding sex issues, and now is your chance to ask! Karley brings her "Ask Slutever" column to IDLM and its about time we get personal. Email her your fuck-buddy woes, body issues, secret long lost crushes, and shameful slutty quandaries. We couldn't be happier to have this bombshell/guru as a guest contributor! Email her at karleyslutever@gmail.com with your QUESTIONS, and check out Slutever.com, to get a preview of her sexual prowess. 

INTERNET FRIENDS: 4 NEW BLOGS TO BOOKMARK TODAY

Do you ever have the feeling that you're just scrolling through the same images over and over again? Does every post sound the same? Not to fear! Here are some blogs sure to make you hungry, turn you on, and get you inspired!

Bip Ling- This actress/model/dj/artist's blog is a refreshing departure from your average ambush of quasi model girls in heels. Bip makes art with humor and takes an approach that is both quirky and sophisticated. Not to be missed, watch out for this one!

Bleach Black- BB is the epitome of California cool. These girls know how to collage new looks into an exciting and cohesive fashion persona. Always highlighting new products with endless enthusiasm, Bleach Black is a destination for new inspirations.

Scanwich- Exactly what it sounds like! Amazing close up scans of one man's lunch quest. Although these images are artful, they're guaranteed to make you hungry just the same.

3Dollar- One girl's immaculately executed visual diary; her travels, her friends, her outfits, and her exploits! Endlessly entertaining, both glamorous and gritty all at once.

Slutever- The very honest, very graphic account of Karley Sciortino's sexual opinions. This progressive, highly stylish blog is like stumbling into a Richard Kern shoot. Karley's interviews, often with strangers, are informative and well written.