Get sexy for the sixth edition of Ask Slutever for IDLM. Karley discusses shape, size, depth, and skill level. Do you have a burning desire to ask a question? Man up! Email her at karleyslutever@gmail.com. Be sure to visit Slutever for daily doses of sexual education.
Dear Slutever,
I consider myself a sexually open and comfortable person besides the fact that I have elongated labia. To paint a picture, they hang out about an inch or so past my pussy lips when I'm standing upright. I know only a jerk would make a big deal of this, but I can't help but feel insecure when I’m naked with someone else. My insecurity is so blown up it keeps me from enjoying being eaten out. In fact I lie to my partners and say I can only get off when a girl goes down on me (half lie/white lie). Am I too self-focused during sex? Should I focus on what it feels like rather than what it looks like / feels like in their mouth?
The Bunny Hole
Dear Bunny Hole,
I’m really into long labia, and I’m not just saying that to sound edgy. I know the very neat, slit-type vagina seems to be popular in modern porn, but that doesn’t mean it’s better or “hotter”. Let’s be honest, all vaginas look amazing. Even the bad ones are good ones. Unless it smells gross, guys really don’t care. They’re just happy to be around a vagina in the first place.
Now, I realize it’s easy to stand back and say, “you just shouldn’t worry about it,” when I’m not the one having the problem. However, what’s important to always remember is: everyone only really cares about themselves. You know those times when you think you’re having a bad hair day, or that everyone is laughing at something you said, or that everyone is looking at your zit? Well, 90% of the time no one even notices because they’re too busy thinking about themselves and their own stupid problems. Sad but true. And it’s the same with sex--the guy is probably preoccupied with how his own body looks, and how he’s performing, or if his dicks is big enough or hard enough. Think about it this way: when you fuck someone, do you scrutinize every little part of their body, or do you view them as a whole?
I used to fuck a guy with a crooked penis, and if anything it made me like him more because it became “his thing”, and I thought of it as something distinctive and special about him. Like you know when you really like someone and suddenly all the “weird” things about them become your favorite things? Like a scar, or a birthmark, or a facial twitch, or a crooked tooth or whatever? It’s these little eccentricities that make a person beautiful. (#cheesy)
I just started this thing with a super hot guy who is waaay more experienced than I am, and he says he wants me to dominate him. I have no idea how to do this without feeling dumb! Help? Lauren, Chicago
Dear Lauren,
No fear, domination can be very simple! It doesn’t always have to be over-the-top with whips and chains and ball gags and stuff. Mainly it’s a mental thing. Normally, even in vanilla sex, one partner is more dominant than the other. You just have to put yourself in the position of control. This is going to sound like I’m stating the obvious, but a good trick to work out what exactly turns a person on is to ask them Duh! I use this trick in my Domme sessions all the time. At the start of the session--or sometimes even before, over email--I’ll say “tell me your ultimate fantasy” or “describe your ideal session.” Telling a guy to confess all of his dark kinky secrets is still a dominant act, and it works out double because then you will have a detailed description of what he likes so you can cater to it as much as you want to. Or, if all else fails, just tie him to the bed and sit on his face.
Dear Slutever,
I am SO upset. I just had sex with this guy I'm really into and I like, I could barely feel it! I'm not like fat or very tall and I really shouldn't have a big vagina but I am almost sure I do. This guy is average size, about 6 inches, so it’s definitely not him. But he was really attracted to the fact that I'm smallish and I think he thought I was gonna be really tight. It's so SAD that some girls have big vaginas and some guys have small dicks! It's probably ruined everything!!! I've looked up sex positions and stuff and I realized he tried to clamp my knees together at one point and so now I'm thinking that's obviously why- he was trying to tighten my vagina! I feeelllllsooooshit about it!!! I've always done kegels like just for fun and to stop my pee flow sometimes just randomly and for something to do, but they have obviously not worked! The only time I can feel him is when his tip goes into me at the opening and then when his tip hits my cervix. Have u got any thoughts on this? Other than errrr she's got a big vagina Lol? It’s not like I've had kids, I'm 17!! I kinda wanna die, it made me feel so shit I don’t think I ever wanna have sex again!
OK I’m going to need photographs and exact measurements to accurately answer this question.
Have your questions gone unanswered? Email KarleySlutever@gmail.com and be enlightened.
images above by Larry Clark
4 comments:
This is an awesome article of q&a's. To the last commenter who thinks she has a big vag. Most probably she is not big but too lubricated. Meaning that you like this guy so much that your vagina is as wet as a slip and slide. Same as guys have to think about dead kittens to not cum. You have to focus on something that turns you off for the beginning. This way you will give him the chance to fully engorge, instead of sliding in. When is too wet inside men do get the feeling of sliding in and out with no traction. That way your vagina walls will also engorge and you will be able to enjoy him and vice versa.
Dear Lala, what you say is really interesting. Can you elaborate more? Say if you are really turned on-crazy turned on-are you supposed to try to turn yourself off to stop being too wet? Or are you trying to give your vagina walls times to swell (how long does this take?) I have experienced both the super slippery-no friction sex and also the amazing friction where you want to come straight away. Is this just a time thing? Thanks! x
Dear anonymous,
To answer your question correctly. It only depends how horny you are. What I want emphasize is that there is nothing wrong with you. It is all about timing, getting to know your body, accepting it and enjoying yourself to the fullest. Sometimes some foreplay can do the trick. The beauty about us women is that we can cum as many times as we want to, unlike men. If you add some foreplay and you cum first it will do the trick for the time of penetration. The most important part is that you are comfortable with your sexy self. Enjoy your body and sex does not have to be over thought. But in your case just a little foreplay, maybe a vibrator it will take care of this little situation.
"I'm not like fat or very tall and I really shouldn't have a big vagina but I am almost sure I do."
Fat or tall doesn't instantly equal large vagina lol (wtf)
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